With the holiday season quickly approaching, now is the perfect time to discuss and share how best to get the most out of family time, whilst also minimising the unavoidable stress and high levels of emotions that are expected during this time.
Though the holiday seasons are advertised as bringing cheer and joy into our lives and family units, it is undeniably a stressful time for all. This can be an especially challenging time for neurodivergent children. Hopefully this resource can help you proactively strategise to minimise stressors, to have plans in place in the advent of challenging behaviours, and to allow yourself and your family to process feelings without judgement.
Setting Expectations
Imagine this, you find yourself scrolling your friends Instagram and see a hallmark, picture perfect photo of them and their family enjoying the holiday season. You look up from your phone to find your home in a state of array and you immediately begin to compare yourself to this ideal image of perfection. What the photo online didn’t show was the 50 minutes of tantrums or meltdowns, of blurry photos, of stressed-out parents and children. Remembering that your life does not need to mirror some idealised expectation advertised to you is a great first step into preparing for the reality of the season!
Planning Ahead
Take some time at the start of the holidays to sit down with your family and talk about what it is you all want to achieve and expect from the time off together. Go wild and have fun here but remember to talk about how you will make it all work, considering all the plates you have to balance. Are traditions already set? How will you go about achieving them? Try to embed additional time for yourselves than you think you need to complete the activity and ensure you know what everyone wants to get out of it.
Once you have a list of achievable activities, start to put some plans into place, the more you can plan here the better. Whilst not everything will always go to plan (This is okay, and dealing with change is an important cognitive skill to learn!), the more you can help your child understand the expectations for the activity, around the when, where, how, the more you minimise chances of overstimulation and dysregulation.
This can also be a chance for a holiday craft activity, get the materials out and map out the plan. Say for example, your family wants to go to the pool, then you can draw your house with the whole family prepped and ready with hats and shoes on, to getting in the car, to driving to pool, to getting changed, to swimming, to getting dry and back in the car, and the ice cream you will eat after it all. Setting expectations and planning is a great step in ensuring an enjoyable and rewarding time for all.
Planning for the Worst
No plan is perfect, there are going to have to be some sacrifices made. What if one of you wants to go to an ice-skating rink, but one of you hates the cold? How will you manage it? Will you take extra layers? Or will you divide and conquer to complete that mission? Whatever the activity considers everyone’s individual needs and prepare to accommodate for them. Remember what can be predicted can be prevented!
During these holidays, remember to plan ahead, prepare for the worst, expect the reality of the situation, and most of all be kind to each other and enjoy!
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